I'm speechless and I feel like the biggest loser in the world. I was in *an Estonian town* for almost a week, gave my best to get accepted to an art school. I didn't, I'm a loser.

I do not sound pessimistic, I'm quite thankful that somebody had the time to prove me that my life is wasted. I actually wanted to study photography but they made me draw and paint, too.

Results: Painting - 4 pts (OUT OF 10!); drawing - 4 pts. Now it's bad to have my own style, my teacher told me she liked my paintings. Why did she lie, I wonder? Essay - 6 pts. No comments. Photography - 6 pts. What the hell? My photos sucked and I got 6 pts? It's obvious it's a BIG LIE. And finally, the interview - 4 pts. I thought it went pretty well, they acted like that, at least. Liar moment again? Yes. It's my fault I like drawing AND photography. Shame on me. It's my fault I told the truth about myself - started drawing in 1995 and that's like 4 times as long as I've liked photography. It's my fault that I love the truth.
Of course, the exams counted, too, so it means 8 more pts... for studying like crazy.
I got 28 pts.

I'm mad and I have the right to be mad. A mad loser who can't draw. So that's the way they make me think I'll never be an artist? By letting me know that only people who copy reality are the best artists? Ok then. I think photography captures the reality, not art. Maybe I would've been the next Dali? Ok, joke joke joke, but what if... and they killed the hope in me.

I'll stop taking pictures for a while and throw away my pencils and everything else.

Thank you. P.S. Your loss, damn school.